The Raccoon man

The Raccoon Man came. He put up a ladder to the canopy roof above my front door. He placed a wire cage on the roof, baited, to trap the persistent raccoon. He’ll drive by every day for a week to see if the raccoon has been stupid enough to go into the trap; and if it was, he’ll take the beastie somewhere else and let her go. If a raccoon has ever been in a trap before, she, he or it will never go in again.

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

It’s Raccoon Removal Man. He’s reporting back to me what he found on the roof – there’s an eight inch in diameter hole that has been picked through the Duroid roof shingles. The raccoon has been living in the slope of the roof. Ack!

It is surely a female needing a safe place to nest. I like a good roof over my head. I guess this animal has recognized that I bought into a good one and has just decided to share it with me. If the pest control guy can’t dislodge it “voluntarily” by trapping it or annoying the heck out of it AND if this doesn’t happen by April 1st, Wildlife Conservancy laws dictate that I must keep the sweet pregnant lady and the eventual kittens under my roof until October.

Annoyance to the raccoon comes in the form of bear spray; loud noise; bright lights. There’s a good chance if this ring-eyed Bandit Mother (and squatter, it seems) will take the voluntary option of finding another abode. However, there’s a good chance that she will opt to simply try out the other side of the roof! Sometimes you can’t win.

I’ve known people like this who have moved in and then could not be dislodged. You can’t use bear spray on them and loud noises and light don’t dislodge them. Just ask anyone who has had one of these two legged bandits come to stay and stay and stay. They are more expensive than this critter is to get rid of; and I must say, Bandit Mother is drawing down on my bank account. I wonder what damage she could do if she ever got hold of my credit card! It would all be spent in the decor store. She has better housing instincts than fashion ones. Besides, she seems to have a pretty good fur coat that doesn’t ever need replacing, so I doubt if it would go on clothing..

There are lots of broken roof shingles on the ground beneath Bandit’s new door construction. Poor, naive me. I thought they came off during the windstorm.

Now I just have to wait and see.

I think I’ll just up and go to Fiji for a couple of weeks. Some sun and surf. Palm trees. Aquamarine coloured seas. Wonderful flowers.

Maybe if I close my eyes and wish it away, I won’t have to come back to Bandit Mother.